Toxic relationships- tips and tricks for a more “extreme” relationship

Toxic relationships are a very difficult thing to go through and are unfortunately pretty common. Having just gone through one, I wanted to share my tips and tricks for recognizing a toxic relationship and how to help yourself. I will not be attaching my name to this post but if you would like more advice please comment and I will personally DM you. Please take these tips and tricks with a grain of salt- there are so many other smaller signs this is just from my persona experience.

Signs of a toxic relationship

• Mental abuse- insults, put-downs

• Physical abuse

• Not allowing you to go to certain places or see certain people

• Going through your phone/texts

• Threats (could be disguised as jokes) ex- “you can’t break up with me I’ll literally kidnap you and keep you tied up in my basement”

• Not respecting boundaries you try to set

• Obsessiveness

• Violent thoughts, jokes, and comments

• Violent outbursts/temper tantrums (screaming punching things)

• Extreme jealousy: ex- “that guy complimented you I’m going to break his nose” “if you ever cheat on me I will shoot you and everyone involved then myself”

• Codependency and using you as their therapist

• “I’d kill myself if you broke up with me”

• Pressuring you to do things- sexual activities, drugs, alcohol, making certain decisions, etc.

• BIG RED FLAG- access/obsession with weapons
  

How to help yourself

• Tell someone you trust: a teacher, counselor, close friend, etc.

• Try to slowly distance yourself from them: hanging out with your friends, getting a job, busying yourself, etc.

• Have emergency contacts on speed dial- police, trusted friends/adults, etc.

• Always tell someone where you’re going/share your location if you’re with your partner

• Try to avoid jokes or comments that could potentially anger them (talking about other people

• Be careful what you share with your partner (ex- info and pictures) because these could be used against you as potential blackmail

• If you are going to break up with them, make sure you are in a public place with people around and someone knows where you are

• If you are comfortable with it and know how to use it, self-defense options such as pepper spray don’t hurt (best not to tell your partner in case they use it on you/against you)